Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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