I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
