they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
