While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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