I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dignity is for republicans.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
