we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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