he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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