I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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