i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
