In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
