just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do vagina's smell?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
