you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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