you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
