Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
