a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
