It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Randomize
