allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
either way he was missing a nipple.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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