brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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