I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
