How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
