i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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