sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
