I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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