so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
