I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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