my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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