then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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