Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
