Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
