You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
