i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
