I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
