Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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