Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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  (504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1617) Bad night (773)
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  (831): View more from California

  yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd

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  (831): yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd http://tfl.nu/hhxw
  Replies (69) Good night (674) Bad night (4298)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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  (718): Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie. http://tfl.nu/tjzl
  Replies (3) Good night (2276) Bad night (722)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

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  (720): i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there. http://tfl.nu/dzaj
  Replies (22) Good night (670) Bad night (3436)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.

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  (808): I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends. http://tfl.nu/mxrh
  Replies (20) Good night (4737) Bad night (716)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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  (815): He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing? http://tfl.nu/c8yk
  Replies (36) Good night (6295) Bad night (1534)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.

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  (870): I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me. http://tfl.nu/cvaz
  Replies (9) Good night (2249) Bad night (1341)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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  (412): I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor http://tfl.nu/ext1
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (2209)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

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  (757): Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :( http://tfl.nu/ztju
  Replies (25) Good night (3594) Bad night (848)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1703) Bad night (594)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.

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  (515): You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick. http://tfl.nu/jkbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (415)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight

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  (614): i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight http://tfl.nu/khiw
  Replies (8) Good night (937) Bad night (343)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check

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  (313): doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check http://tfl.nu/g53m
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (223)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?

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  (402): I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going? http://tfl.nu/dfxw
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (202)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext

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  (479): he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext http://tfl.nu/qad0
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (117)

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