Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i can't wait to go to hell

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure

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  (248): i can't wait to go to hell (1-248): yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure http://tfl.nu/7pwb
  Replies (2) Good night (1596) Bad night (646)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes

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  (859): i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes http://tfl.nu/xf12
  Replies (19) Good night (946) Bad night (3598)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid

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  (716): He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid http://tfl.nu/btyl
  Replies (22) Good night (4624) Bad night (2120)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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  (+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl
  Replies (8) Good night (997) Bad night (5594)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years

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  (203): she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years http://tfl.nu/j9r2
  Replies (7) Good night (2248) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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  (815): She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode. http://tfl.nu/19jg
  Replies (6) Good night (1336) Bad night (3067)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.

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  (314): You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important. http://tfl.nu/ehih
  Replies (18) Good night (2469) Bad night (2701)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.

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  (512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo
  Replies (20) Good night (4209) Bad night (1159)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey

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  (401): There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey http://tfl.nu/j5zf
  Replies (9) Good night (2527) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND

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  (215): OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND http://tfl.nu/fivf
  Replies (23) Good night (1776) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.

  (818): View more from California

  Because it is cat.

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  (760): Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use. (818): Because it is cat. http://tfl.nu/tbfo
  Replies (9) Good night (1595) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.

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  (+44): By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder. http://tfl.nu/khml
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.

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  (707): I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy. http://tfl.nu/am87
  Replies (6) Good night (716) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.

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  (704): Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success. http://tfl.nu/ssjq
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.

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  (740): Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets. http://tfl.nu/bpg6
  Replies (0) Good night (254) Bad night (398)

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