I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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