Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.