ooooooooooooo i'm drink
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
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no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.