More tranny stories later!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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