dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
