OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
