And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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