i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
