He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
