Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm having to shit out rocks
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