You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
