And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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