I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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