he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize