I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
