This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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