the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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