Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
