It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tornado booty call.. dedication
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
