He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
