So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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