I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
