as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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