i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up