pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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