im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
