you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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