so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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