I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
