You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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