Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
